An address by Stanton J. Bastian on November 9, 2008,
in Sacrament Meeting, Silva Valley Ward, El Dorado Hills, Calif.
in Sacrament Meeting, Silva Valley Ward, El Dorado Hills, Calif.
Many of you know that I grew up in a small town in northeast Washington. In a town like that, everyone knows most everyone else. My father was a mortician, and we lived in a funeral home—the Bastian Funeral Home. Many people in town knew there was a person in town who would sit and talk with them, and listen to their problems—that person was my father. As young man, I noticed this.
People in the community would come to talk to my father, even those who were not of our faith or who had not experienced a death in their family. There was a particularly odd couple that made visits to our funeral home—a woman and her son who were dirty and unkempt, and who drove a broken down car. The mother was in her sixties and stood about 4’11”; the son, in his forties, was a hulking giant (especially to a young man), standing about 6’4”. These people raised goats on a farm outside of town, and we called them the “Goat People”—such as, “Dad, the Goat People are here to see you.”
I asked my father once, “What do you talk about with the Goat People?” He replied, “Well, they come in to talk to me, to tell me their problems—sometimes to borrow money—but mostly just to talk. You notice, son, that they look unusual. They really don’t understand public etiquette or about personal hygiene, and frankly, they smell. They raise goats, and that is all they know. But despite being odd, they are good people, and they need a friend to talk to.”
I want to read Matthew 22:35–39
In 1 John 4:20–21, God tells us who we are commanded to love:
Love can be many things to many people, but it may be classified into three basic types.
The first type is expressed in the terms “I will love you if …” People give this kind of love if others meet certain requirements. It is conditional and always has strings attached.
Examples of this type of love: I will love you . . .
The second type of love uses the word “because” and emphasizes selfish or worldly aspects. It, too, is conditional love. People love others only because of their attractive qualities or characteristics.
Examples of this kind of love: I love you . . .
There is something wrong with these two kinds of love. They are not true love. They are conditional love based on selfishness.
The third type of love is unselfish and unconditional. We do not have to earn or deserve this kind of love by acting a certain way or having certain qualities. This kind of love can use the phrase “even though.”
Examples of this kind of love: I love you . . .
I want to discuss 1 Corinthians 13. This scripture tell us the attributes of a charitable person. It uses biblical terms, but I want to give a modern synonym for the biblical terms. Here are some of the attributes of a charitable person from 1 Corinthians 13:
1. “Suffereth long and is kind” (This means a charitable person is “patient.”)
2. “Envieth not” (This means a charitable person is “satisfied.”)
3. “Vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up” (This means a charitable person is “humble.”)
4. “Doth not behave itself unseemly” (This means a charitable person is “courteous.”)
5. “Seeketh not her own” (This means a charitable person is “unselfish.”)
6. “Is not easily provoked” (This means a charitable person is “good-tempered.”)
7. “Thinketh no evil” (This means a charitable person is “pure.”)
8. “Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth” (This means a charitable person is
“honest.”)
Jesus Christ exhibited all of these attributes, and he loves us unconditionally.
Story
When I was about 38-years-old—about 20 years after I left home to go to college—Bonnie and I went with our little kids to visit my parents. One morning at the breakfast table, we were talking to my father about fishing, and he said: “Let me tell you about when I stopped fishing on Sunday.”
Well, I was surprised and shocked to hear this statement come out of my father’s mouth! I had never known him to fish on Sunday—he had been Bishop for 9 years, had served on the Stake High Council for 12 years, and was the Stake Patriarch. As a family, we had always tried to keep the Sabbath Day holy.
My father related the following:
In the 1950s, before owning his own funeral home, he had been Assistant Manager at Hazen and Jaeger, a big funeral home in Spokane, WA, with 8 other funeral directors/embalmers. As Assistant Manager, he actually lived at the funeral home in an apartment behind the funeral home with my mother and their five little daughters. The funeral business has bad hours. You don’t have open and closed hours. You are open for business 24/7/365 because you can’t control when people are going to pass away. As Assistant Manager, he had one day off a week: Sunday.
My father said he attended church, but he loved fishing, so some Sundays he went fishing. He owned a boat, and 4 or 5 of his employees at the funeral home took turns going fishing with him. They also loved fishing, but didn’t own a boat, so they looked forward to their turn to go fishing at big Pend Oreille Lake where they could each catch 30-40 silvers. They enjoyed being with my father as he was a character and was liked by all for his generosity and sense of humor.
As time went by, my father decided that he could no longer go fishing on Sunday. He knew it wasn’t right. He told the guys at the funeral home about his decision to not fish on Sundays, even though he enjoyed it immensely. He explained to them that the reason for his decision was a religious conviction, and he needed to make a change.
Well, the guys didn’t take the news well. There was a lot of grumbling, and the morale at the funeral home was very low among the employees. A few weeks after he had informed the guys about his decision to not fish on Sundays, Mr. Hazen, the owner of the funeral home, got involved. He called in my father to talk about the situation and the low morale. He asked my father if there was “any way he could change his mind about his decision” because he was tired of all the grumbling around the funeral home. My father explained to him that his decision was a religious conviction about keeping the Sabbath Day holy, and it was something he needed to do.
Mr. Hazen sat silently and thought for a minute, then said to my father: “Well, I’ve decided to give you another day off during the week. Now you have both Sundays and Thursdays off, but will you take the guys fishing on Thursdays?”
As you can see, my father was truly and literally blessed by his decision to keep the Sabbath Day holy. But that’s not the whole story. I asked my mother what she had said to my father about his fishing on Sunday. Knowing my mother, I knew she couldn’t have liked it. She said she had never lectured my father. She just told him that she loved him and asked him to consider what he was doing.
My point in telling this story is that this was an act of charity—it was unconditional love. Without approving of his actions, she looked at my father’s good and admirable qualities. If you recall from 1 Corinthians 13, one of the attributes of a charitable person is to “suffer long and be kind.” She was patient—she loved the man, but not the sin. She loved him “even though” he wasn’t perfect.
In Moroni 7:47, Moroni referred to charity as “the pure love of Christ.” And because it is the pure love of Christ, charity is the highest principle of the gospel. Here are Moroni’s words:
47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found
possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.
Did you hear that brothers and sisters: “Whoso is found possessed of it (charity) at the last day, it shall be well with him.”
Using the modern synonyms, remember the attributes of a charitable person from 1 Corinthians 13:
1. Patient - “Suffereth long and is kind.”
2. Satisfied - “Envieth not.”
3. Humble - “Vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.”
4. Couteous - “Doth not behave itself unseemly.”
5. Unselfish - “Seeketh not her own.”
6. Good-tempered - “Is not easily provoked.”
7. Pure - “Thinketh no evil.”
8. Honest - “Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.”
Brothers and sisters, it is my prayer that we can be more charitable to others around us. It is my hope that we can look for the good and admirable traits in others. Cut others some slack, overlook faults, and look for the good in those around us. No one is perfect. We are all striving to become better. The best place to start doing this brothers and sisters is at home. Home is where charity begins.
Consider this—
Children and youth: Are you as patient with and as kind to your brothers or sisters as you are to your friends?
Husband and wives: Are you as patient with and as kind to your spouses as you are to your co-workers?
Ward members: Are we as patient with and as kind to other ward members as we should be? Are we as charitable to those who perceive us as their enemies as we should be?
I know I have been guilty of these things at times.
Moroni 7:47 — But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
People in the community would come to talk to my father, even those who were not of our faith or who had not experienced a death in their family. There was a particularly odd couple that made visits to our funeral home—a woman and her son who were dirty and unkempt, and who drove a broken down car. The mother was in her sixties and stood about 4’11”; the son, in his forties, was a hulking giant (especially to a young man), standing about 6’4”. These people raised goats on a farm outside of town, and we called them the “Goat People”—such as, “Dad, the Goat People are here to see you.”
I asked my father once, “What do you talk about with the Goat People?” He replied, “Well, they come in to talk to me, to tell me their problems—sometimes to borrow money—but mostly just to talk. You notice, son, that they look unusual. They really don’t understand public etiquette or about personal hygiene, and frankly, they smell. They raise goats, and that is all they know. But despite being odd, they are good people, and they need a friend to talk to.”
I want to read Matthew 22:35–39
35 Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying,This scripture tells us the two greatest commandments, and these two commandments both tell us to love. Love is the central theme of the gospel.
36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
In 1 John 4:20–21, God tells us who we are commanded to love:
20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth hisbbrother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?It impossible to love God and hate your brother at the same time because to love God is also to love the things God loves most, and God loves his children most.
21 And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.
Love can be many things to many people, but it may be classified into three basic types.
The first type is expressed in the terms “I will love you if …” People give this kind of love if others meet certain requirements. It is conditional and always has strings attached.
Examples of this type of love: I will love you . . .
if you are popular.
if you have a car.
if you attend church.
if you are nice to me.
if you do your chores.
if you do what I say.
The second type of love uses the word “because” and emphasizes selfish or worldly aspects. It, too, is conditional love. People love others only because of their attractive qualities or characteristics.
Examples of this kind of love: I love you . . .
because you have pretty eyes.
because you try to make me happy.
because you help me with my homework.
because you loan me money when I need it.
because you do things for me, or because you put me first.
There is something wrong with these two kinds of love. They are not true love. They are conditional love based on selfishness.
The third type of love is unselfish and unconditional. We do not have to earn or deserve this kind of love by acting a certain way or having certain qualities. This kind of love can use the phrase “even though.”
Examples of this kind of love: I love you . . .
even though I disagree with what you do.This is the kind of love that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ give each of us. They love and accept us no matter what we do or who we are. This kind of love is called “charity.”
even though you have weaknesses and problems.
even though you made a mistake.
even though you don’t always do exactly what I want.
I want to discuss 1 Corinthians 13. This scripture tell us the attributes of a charitable person. It uses biblical terms, but I want to give a modern synonym for the biblical terms. Here are some of the attributes of a charitable person from 1 Corinthians 13:
1. “Suffereth long and is kind” (This means a charitable person is “patient.”)
2. “Envieth not” (This means a charitable person is “satisfied.”)
3. “Vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up” (This means a charitable person is “humble.”)
4. “Doth not behave itself unseemly” (This means a charitable person is “courteous.”)
5. “Seeketh not her own” (This means a charitable person is “unselfish.”)
6. “Is not easily provoked” (This means a charitable person is “good-tempered.”)
7. “Thinketh no evil” (This means a charitable person is “pure.”)
8. “Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth” (This means a charitable person is
“honest.”)
Jesus Christ exhibited all of these attributes, and he loves us unconditionally.
Story
When I was about 38-years-old—about 20 years after I left home to go to college—Bonnie and I went with our little kids to visit my parents. One morning at the breakfast table, we were talking to my father about fishing, and he said: “Let me tell you about when I stopped fishing on Sunday.”
Well, I was surprised and shocked to hear this statement come out of my father’s mouth! I had never known him to fish on Sunday—he had been Bishop for 9 years, had served on the Stake High Council for 12 years, and was the Stake Patriarch. As a family, we had always tried to keep the Sabbath Day holy.
My father related the following:
In the 1950s, before owning his own funeral home, he had been Assistant Manager at Hazen and Jaeger, a big funeral home in Spokane, WA, with 8 other funeral directors/embalmers. As Assistant Manager, he actually lived at the funeral home in an apartment behind the funeral home with my mother and their five little daughters. The funeral business has bad hours. You don’t have open and closed hours. You are open for business 24/7/365 because you can’t control when people are going to pass away. As Assistant Manager, he had one day off a week: Sunday.
My father said he attended church, but he loved fishing, so some Sundays he went fishing. He owned a boat, and 4 or 5 of his employees at the funeral home took turns going fishing with him. They also loved fishing, but didn’t own a boat, so they looked forward to their turn to go fishing at big Pend Oreille Lake where they could each catch 30-40 silvers. They enjoyed being with my father as he was a character and was liked by all for his generosity and sense of humor.
As time went by, my father decided that he could no longer go fishing on Sunday. He knew it wasn’t right. He told the guys at the funeral home about his decision to not fish on Sundays, even though he enjoyed it immensely. He explained to them that the reason for his decision was a religious conviction, and he needed to make a change.
Well, the guys didn’t take the news well. There was a lot of grumbling, and the morale at the funeral home was very low among the employees. A few weeks after he had informed the guys about his decision to not fish on Sundays, Mr. Hazen, the owner of the funeral home, got involved. He called in my father to talk about the situation and the low morale. He asked my father if there was “any way he could change his mind about his decision” because he was tired of all the grumbling around the funeral home. My father explained to him that his decision was a religious conviction about keeping the Sabbath Day holy, and it was something he needed to do.
Mr. Hazen sat silently and thought for a minute, then said to my father: “Well, I’ve decided to give you another day off during the week. Now you have both Sundays and Thursdays off, but will you take the guys fishing on Thursdays?”
As you can see, my father was truly and literally blessed by his decision to keep the Sabbath Day holy. But that’s not the whole story. I asked my mother what she had said to my father about his fishing on Sunday. Knowing my mother, I knew she couldn’t have liked it. She said she had never lectured my father. She just told him that she loved him and asked him to consider what he was doing.
My point in telling this story is that this was an act of charity—it was unconditional love. Without approving of his actions, she looked at my father’s good and admirable qualities. If you recall from 1 Corinthians 13, one of the attributes of a charitable person is to “suffer long and be kind.” She was patient—she loved the man, but not the sin. She loved him “even though” he wasn’t perfect.
In Moroni 7:47, Moroni referred to charity as “the pure love of Christ.” And because it is the pure love of Christ, charity is the highest principle of the gospel. Here are Moroni’s words:
47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found
possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.
Did you hear that brothers and sisters: “Whoso is found possessed of it (charity) at the last day, it shall be well with him.”
Using the modern synonyms, remember the attributes of a charitable person from 1 Corinthians 13:
1. Patient - “Suffereth long and is kind.”
2. Satisfied - “Envieth not.”
3. Humble - “Vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.”
4. Couteous - “Doth not behave itself unseemly.”
5. Unselfish - “Seeketh not her own.”
6. Good-tempered - “Is not easily provoked.”
7. Pure - “Thinketh no evil.”
8. Honest - “Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.”
Brothers and sisters, it is my prayer that we can be more charitable to others around us. It is my hope that we can look for the good and admirable traits in others. Cut others some slack, overlook faults, and look for the good in those around us. No one is perfect. We are all striving to become better. The best place to start doing this brothers and sisters is at home. Home is where charity begins.
Consider this—
Children and youth: Are you as patient with and as kind to your brothers or sisters as you are to your friends?
Husband and wives: Are you as patient with and as kind to your spouses as you are to your co-workers?
Ward members: Are we as patient with and as kind to other ward members as we should be? Are we as charitable to those who perceive us as their enemies as we should be?
I know I have been guilty of these things at times.
Moroni 7:47 — But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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